This might take a bit to explain, so please bear with me.
I’m helping take care of a dog that’s aggressive and stubborn. It’s not my dog, but I live with it and its owner. The owner is elderly and has health problems, so they need my help. The dog isn’t socialized or trained to listen to anyone but its owner, and this has made things really tough. I’ve been trying for two months now to get the dog to warm up to me, but I’m struggling.
He barks a lot at me and snaps if I make any moves he doesn’t like. The only time he’s calm with me is when I give him treats. He’ll even gently take them from my hand. But outside of that, he’s defensive and territorial, especially around his crate. I’m careful not to make sudden moves, and I try to stay positive, but I’m nervous around him, and I think he senses that.
The owner is very protective of the dog and insists that I keep trying. I don’t know if what I’m doing is helping or making things worse. For example, if he stops barking for a second and I give him a treat, does that reward the barking? Or is it a step forward because he stopped for that moment?
I’ve never dealt with a dog like this, and I’m starting to feel frustrated and even resentful, which I know isn’t good. I’m doing my best to handle him right, but I feel out of my depth. Any advice on what I can do differently or how to get through to him?
You’re in a tough spot. Absolutely do not let this dog near your face under any circumstances.
It sounds like the dog has no idea how to coexist with people without being the center of attention. On top of that, he can probably tell you’re nervous, which isn’t helping. Treats alone won’t fix this, at least not at first.
The best thing to do is ignore him completely when you’re around him, but stay safe. Act like he’s not even there. Don’t look at him, don’t talk to him, don’t engage; unless you have to for safety reasons. Over time, you can try small interactions, like speaking softly or glancing at him, but if he snaps, go back to ignoring.
Your goal shouldn’t be to make him your friend right now; it should be to build a basic sense of trust and coexistence. Friendship can come later once there’s trust. Stay consistent and patient, but make sure you’re safe above all else.
@Ann
Thank you so much. The only time he’s been near my face was when the owner asked me to sit next to him, and the dog jumped up unexpectedly to sniff me. I stayed still because I didn’t want to provoke him, but I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.
I’ve been ignoring him when he barks, but it’s hard since I have to take him outside now because the owner can’t. When I take him out, should I stay completely silent? I’ve been trying to prompt him to go potty since he sometimes rushes back inside without doing everything, and then he has accidents in the house. The owner wasn’t happy about that, so I feel stuck. I want to handle this right but feel like no matter what I do, it’s not enough.
@Jane
This is a tough situation, and honestly, it’s not fair to you. If the owner is insisting you handle the dog but not giving you the tools to do it safely, that’s on them, not you.
If you have to take him out, stay calm and avoid interacting more than necessary. Give short, clear commands if needed, but don’t try to engage with him too much. If he refuses to go or starts acting out, let the owner know. You shouldn’t have to put yourself at risk just because the dog isn’t properly trained.
Also, it’s frustrating that the owner put you in a position where you’re expected to deal with all this without support. You’re doing your best, and that’s all you can do right now.
@Ann
Thanks for your understanding. The owner is able to clip the leash onto him, so at least I don’t have to worry about that part. I’ll keep trying to do what I can while staying safe.
I get what you’re trying to do, but honestly, you shouldn’t be in this position at all. This dog is a ticking time bomb, and you’re the one who could get hurt. It’s been two months, and it sounds like nothing has improved. The dog isn’t socialized, and treats aren’t going to fix that.
You need an experienced trainer working with both you and the owner, but it sounds like that’s not happening. Giving treats while he barks or trying to follow that “10 treats a minute” idea isn’t going to help; it’s just reinforcing bad behavior.
My advice? Get out of this situation if you can. This setup isn’t safe for you, and it’s not fair for you to have to deal with it without proper support.
@Aurelia
The treats were suggested in this forum’s guide, which is why I mentioned it, but I agree it doesn’t seem to be helping much. Unfortunately, I don’t have the option to walk away from this right now. I just want to do the best I can without making things worse.
@Jane
I get it, and I know you’re in a tough spot. If you have no choice but to deal with this, just focus on keeping yourself safe. Stop trying to make him like you with treats; he clearly isn’t ready for that.
And honestly, if the owner isn’t willing to listen to reason or bring in a trainer, that’s on them. Do what you can, but don’t put yourself in harm’s way. It’s not worth it.