Sorry, this is going to be long, but I really need to set up a bit of history with our dogs.
My husband and I have been married for 35 years and have always had dogs. Our first two were a Rhodesian Ridgeback/Pit mix and a Cattle Dog/Pit mix. Both were adopted from the animal shelter when they were 3-6 months old. We trained them on basic commands like leash walking and recall. They quickly became part of our family and were excellent dogs—loving, sweet, and attentive. We had them until they passed.
Later, we adopted a 6-week-old Chihuahua. My husband worked every day, and I worked from home, so I did all the training myself—potty training, crate training, leash training, etc. Then, we adopted a 2-year-old Chihuahua from a bad situation, and soon after, my husband found a Maltese in terrible condition—matted, dirty, flea-ridden, and homeless. We trained them all the same way. They were crated, not allowed human food (though my husband would sneak it occasionally), and not allowed to beg or be in the kitchen while cooking. But they were so loved.
In the evenings, my husband and I would sit thigh to thigh on the couch watching TV, and the dogs would sleep all over us, pressed between our thighs. I would take them all outside, and they would do their business and come back. We never formally taught them recall; it just came naturally. We took them camping with us and everywhere else. They loved us and wanted to stay by us no matter what. We had them until the end.
Several years ago, I decided to start truck driving with my husband. He was so sad not having dogs in his life. I told him I didn’t want any more dogs, but I saw how sad it made him. We lived on the truck for a couple of weeks at a time, then we’d go home for a week and leave again. Many truck drivers have companions with them. I finally thought it was time and understood his need for that special dog. I was always saying no, but that Christmas, I wrapped a dog bowl and toys and put them under the tree. That was my way of saying, “Let’s get a dog.” He was so excited and happy! Because the dog would be on the truck with us, he wanted a small dog that wouldn’t shed a lot. After researching, he decided on a Yorkie. We found an eight-month-old Yorkie who needed a home. That was 2.5 years ago.
When we first brought Billy home, we’d let him outside to play in the backyard. Then we’d call him to come in, but he didn’t react at all—not even an ear twitch. It was like we weren’t even there. We actually thought he was deaf! The same thing happened in the house. We got concerned and were ready to call the vet, but we eventually realized he wasn’t deaf—just had selective hearing. Since he would be on the truck with us and running around truck stops and dog parks, we wanted to get him trained. The fact that he didn’t even acknowledge us was bad. After letting him settle in, we took him to a boarding/training place. We went back several times to work with him, and he was doing awesome. It was expensive, and I had my doubts because of inconsistency on my husband’s part.
That first year on the truck drove me nuts. Billy got away with everything our other dogs were never allowed to do. When my husband walked him, he pulled constantly. He was always begging, which led to him sitting on my husband’s lap while he ate and being given people food. It got to the point where Billy would stop eating his own food and wait for human food. Sometimes, my husband would even let Billy grab food from his mouth. There was no routine or rules—everything Billy did was just too cute for my husband to resist. During my driving shifts, I’d feed and walk him. If I was eating during a break, Billy wouldn’t beg or try to jump on my lap because I had set boundaries early on.
This all started in the truck. I’d be driving, and my husband would be in the passenger seat eating. Billy would have his front paws up on the chair only when my husband was eating. If my husband handed me something to eat, Billy would jump at my hand, growling and trying to bite me. As soon as my husband finished eating, Billy would lose interest and go to the back. Billy also got to sleep with us both at home and in the truck. None of our other dogs ever slept with us. In the truck, it was a twin mattress, and sometimes we had to sleep together on the bed. Billy would be sprawled out across us. I typically woke up several times to use the restroom and had to crawl over them. At first, it was fine, but then Billy started growling and lunging at me when I moved, though he never bit me. I started to get nervous, and we would argue about it. When I slept alone in the bed, Billy was fine and would sleep with me without any issues.
After weeks of arguing, we decided to crate him at night when we slept in the same bed. He also started doing this at home in our queen-size bed, so he lost that privilege at home too. Now, he gets crated at night both at home and on the truck.
Billy continued doing whatever he wanted. Sometimes I think my husband felt Billy wouldn’t love him if he set rules or routines. He even bought a retractable leash so Billy could roam freely while still being attached. Then things started getting weird at home. Billy began growling and lunging at me.
We have a couch with a middle section that lays down and has cup holders and plug-ins for electronics. I was against getting it because we always sat close, cuddled, and watched TV together. I told my husband it would separate us. So there was my husband with Billy on his side and me on mine. I got off the truck permanently last June, so my husband was gone for weeks with Billy. When he came home, if I tried to show him something on my phone, Billy would growl, bare his teeth, and snap at me, always missing. I couldn’t walk by him without him growling and lunging. We argued because I felt like strangers. The only time we could be close was at bedtime. Unlike our past dogs, I couldn’t sit next to my husband or get close. Remember, he would be gone for weeks and then come home for a few days. So Billy lost couch privileges, and we put the middle section down to sit together like we had for 35 years.
Then it got weirder. I’d be in the kitchen making dinner, and Billy would watch me. As soon as I grabbed our plates and walked out, he’d start barking, growling, and lunging at me. After a shower, I’d come out of the bedroom, and he’d bark and growl. A few days ago, I was cutting an onion in the kitchen. Billy got off his chair, sat on the rug, and stared at me, readying himself for when I came out with plates. But I came out with the onion balled in my fist, and he turned around and sat back on his chair. Another time, my husband was trimming his hair in the bathroom, and Billy sat in the doorway facing out. My husband called me to straighten the back and said, “WAIT, let me put Billy in the living room,” because he knew Billy would come after me. Another time, my husband was fixing something on my aquarium, and I went to hand him a level. Billy went nuts, came after me, and got my foot—luckily, I had shoes on. Billy used to come to me when I called him to go outside, but now he won’t listen. My husband has to call him.
When I’m alone, Billy loves me. He sits on my lap, plays with me, and doesn’t attack when I bring food out or walk out of the bedroom. When my husband comes home and Billy sees me in the yard, he goes nuts with excitement, running to me and jumping up. A few days ago, my husband had an errand and was gone all day. Billy moped all day, didn’t touch his food, and kept looking for my husband. When he came home, Billy came alive. By the way, my husband stopped giving him people food after a $600 vet bill and the vet told him no more people food. I’ve been telling him that forever. Billy’s not a teacup; he’s an 11lb Yorkie.
What it all boils down to is why am I getting attacked in my own home every time they come home? I don’t know what to do. I actually start to get anxiety every time I make dinner. We started crating him at dinner, but my husband doesn’t always do it, and I’m afraid to pick up the dog now. He gets this crazy look in his eyes—all the signs that he’s going to go after me. I’ve never done anything to this dog, only loved him until I couldn’t.
He acted the same way with our daughter last year when she visited, and she’ll be here next weekend with our 4-year-old granddaughter. My husband’s friend visited us several months ago, and Billy was aggressive with him too. I’m tired of being nervous and walking on eggshells around Billy. Does anyone have any idea what this could be? I’ve never had any dogs do this to me. In fact, I’ve always been good around all dogs, but now I’m starting to be afraid of them. I’m just at a loss.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!