I don't know if what I am doing is right

Seeking help
1

This morning, my dog suddenly changed. When I let him out to potty, he pooped, and then his hind legs weakened. I immediately checked his gums (he was diagnosed with stage C-D CHF), and they were pale. I started his oxygen therapy, which lasted for two to three hours before he wanted to stop. He drank some water.

I planned to take him to the vet, but I saw him resting/sleeping. I hesitated because the last time something similar happened, the vet said to give oxygen therapy and avoid stress. I waited until lunchtime; thankfully, he ate most of his food and drank water. I gave him oxygen therapy again after his potty break. I waited until he wanted to stop and then placed him in his rest area. By this time, the vet was already closed. He is resting/sleeping now as I type this.

I didn’t get to give him any of his meds this morning except for his pimobendan. I’m hesitant to give his hypotensive drugs now since it’s almost 7 pm, and he usually takes them in the morning. I’m also unsure about his blood pressure with these changes.

I don’t know what to do anymore, and I don’t even know if what I’m doing is right. I’m just trying to think about everything I’ve learned.

I feel so sorry for my other dogs. They don’t understand what’s happening or why I’m only focused on their brother. I love them all so much, but I’m terrified. I have no one to talk to or ask. Today is our vet’s day off, and the other vet we go to is fully booked and can’t see any more patients. I haven’t met a vet who really cares. We only go to our vet because she is more experienced and somewhat professional.

I just want to cry, but I’m exhausted. I’m terrified.

2

I didn’t want to read while running; maybe, one of our members with veterinary experience will check in soon.

3

Thank you, Angelina.

4

There are particular cuff bands for measuring blood pressure in animals. Perhaps you should speak with your veterinarian about where you can purchase one.
According to the medicine, the general rule is that you can administer a missed dose as soon as you remember it, but if it is too near to the next dose (for example, 1-2 hours), they entirely skip the missed dose and resume the schedule as usual. Of course, I don’t know your dog or their individual requirements, so take my statement with a grain of salt.

5

Thank you for your kindness. I am terrified.

The vet never mentioned the special cuffs to me. The other vet, who is far away (if we leave at 2 pm, we get home around 10 pm), is fully booked. I need to book an appointment if I go there since it’s far. They are the only ones with the BP equipment, and we went there many times until the right dosage of medication was prescribed.

I am just following my gut. Since he’s sleeping, maybe I can minimize what I give him, at least for today. I am terrified of making a mistake right now, and I am alone. I am scared to give his diuretic and blood pressure meds since it’s already 9 pm, and he usually takes them in the morning. I did count his breaths per minute, and thankfully, it is within the range. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am just thinking about what the vet said before—that I need to let him feel relaxed. I plan on giving his pimobendan since I don’t like skipping that one. I gave him his morning dose, and the evening dose is a bit later.

6

Amazon.com

7

Thank you so much for the links. I will look into them when I finish everything tonight. Thank you again. I didn’t realize you could buy cuffs and attach them to a blood pressure monitor. I assumed you required special ones for pets, including the device.

8

I am very sorry you are going through this, and I am sending you positive vibes. Please let us know how your dog is doing.

9

I was able to administer his maintenance medication yesterday and this morning. Today, I saw a difference in him. I believe his cardiac condition has worsened. The vet had previously told me this the last time we were there. I don’t have the strength to face the risk of losing him. His sister went away last year, and his other sister died two years ago. I don’t have it any more. I simply want time to stop.

10

It hurts like hell, doesn’t it?

All you can do is give your all for him.

11

I just want to disappear. I don’t have the strength to do this. I’m doing my best, but I feel like I’m dying inside.

I love him so much. My other pets need me too, and I feel so guilty that I’m not my usual self.

Having experienced pet loss before has made this even harder. I know how it feels, and I don’t think I’m strong enough.

I’m alone in this. My family has a “let it be” attitude, and I have no moral or emotional support.

He is so precious, and I want to do my best for him. Even though I go to a reputable vet here, it still feels inferior compared to other first-world countries. If I could do more for him, I would. I just know I need to avoid any stimuli for his condition. The vet said I’m already giving him everything for his condition, Vetmedin (pimobendan), Fortekor (benazepril), furosemide, and Amlodipine. I am so terrified. I already begged him not to leave me, and I promised to take care of him forever.

12

Unfortunately, caring for our dogs requires us to let them go when the time comes. It is the most difficult, yet selfless, thing we can do for our dogs.

13

I would do everything for them, but I struggle to do so. I’m so attached. I do not have the heart to let go. There’s something wrong with me.

14

There’s nothing wrong with you. If all pet owners were like us, there wouldn’t be strays or abused dogs. But you have to accept that there is nothing more you can do. I know it’s hard, but you cannot control everything.

When my dog was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, I felt the same way. I felt as though it was my fault, that I had failed him, even though autoimmune conditions are most commonly idiopathic. I kept thinking, “I do EVERYTHING for him—frequent vet visits, excellent care, the best food I can afford, lots of exercise—and he still gets sick? It is so unfair.” But no matter what we do, they can end up getting sick because it was bound to happen that way.

Nobody is going to blame you for your dog’s heart issues. Nobody is going to point fingers at you and say that you’re not a good owner. These things happen. Heart issues happen, cancer happens, liver and kidney issues happen, especially to older dogs. It’s the logical course of life. You grow, and your body stops functioning properly.

A good example is when you sometimes see very athletic and fit people who have diabetes, and people are shocked because they associate diabetes with obesity. But it can happen to anyone, no matter how healthy their lifestyle is.

15

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to accept what’s happening. The multiple pet losses I’ve experienced in my lifetime have traumatized me.

I have no choice but to try my best to “forget” our dogs that have passed away in order to stay somewhat sane. The memories still creep up, no matter how hard I try to block them, and I feel so helpless. It hurts to remember, regardless of how much time has passed. I miss them all so much.

I try to focus on our dogs now, who have all been diagnosed with heart conditions. Now that this is happening to one of them, I’m living in this very dark place again. I’m trying and doing my best, but I always feel it’s not enough.

16

The prospect of losing a beloved pet is indeed devastating. Part of our responsibility in loving them so much is listening to them and interpreting what they are telling us with their body language. When they tell us their time has come, as heartbreaking as it is, listening to them is part of loving them.

We went through this one year ago when we lost our beloved Samantha. We thought we would never recover or function again. After a couple of months, we adopted another dog, Lexi. Though we continue to miss Samantha terribly, we love Lexi, and she helps fill the hole in our hearts that Samantha left. We will never forget Samantha and all the wonderful memories we have of her, but life does go on, and we have to find a way to continue to function.

You have more inner strength than you might think, and you will be able to tap into that strength, do what you must, and go on with life.

17

I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with you. Many people feel this kind of intensity about their beloved animals. My current young dog is my soul-mate, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I feel like my life would be over if I lost him. But I had a soul-mate cat years ago, and when he died, I still went on living.

Losing our deeply loved ones and the grief that follows is, in my opinion, the hardest thing we have to endure in life. I’ve lost my beloved life partner to sudden death and others I have loved dearly, including deeply loved animals. Sometimes the weight of all that loss feels too much to bear. But I keep going, partly because I always have other animals who need me.

When my last dog died, I was devastated. It happened fast, and I couldn’t believe there was nothing I could do to save him, even though I would have done anything in the world, no matter the cost. I felt like I couldn’t let him go. But then I saw how he was suffering, in this horrible cycle of feeling better for a day and then going downhill and suffering for three days. I couldn’t let him continue to suffer, so I had to let him go.

I felt lost without him, even though I still had two other animals. Only two months later, far sooner than I thought I wanted another dog, I found a little puppy up for adoption from the shelter and adopted him. He has turned out to be the most perfect dog imaginable for me at this time in my life. His spirit, drive, attitude, and energy pulled me out of my grief in a way I wouldn’t have thought possible. Every single day, he brings me so much joy. My love for him fills up my life.

I’m not saying that getting another dog will make everything fine for you. I’m just saying that life goes in cycles—up and down, grief and loss, joy and new relationships. We endure the hard times and are overcome with joy in the good times, and it’s all part of the same thing.

I’m sorry you have no support where you are. But we support you, if that can help at all. We understand how hard it is. I think you will know when it’s time to let your dog go. When there’s no good quality of life left, it becomes the last good thing we can do for them, out of our deep love for them, despite the grief it costs us.

The strength to do what needs to be done comes from our love for them, which is not a selfish love but a true love that puts their needs ahead of our own.

18

I honestly don’t know what will happen tonight or tomorrow, but my dog let me know that he wanted to sleep and rest. I considered taking him to the 24-hour vet, which is about a 2-hour drive with minimal traffic since it’s midnight, but he showed me he really wanted to sleep. I just don’t know if I’ll still see him tomorrow, and that breaks my heart.

We have four other dogs who all have heart conditions too, and they are around the same age (15 on average). I love all of them, and I feel so guilty because they know I’m not my usual self.

I gave him hugs and kisses tonight. The thought crossed my mind if I could let him go, but I immediately started crying so hard. I just couldn’t. I love him so much. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

19

Don’t be too concerned about the other dogs; they are aware that one of them is not doing well; dogs know far more than humans give them credit for.
You will lavish them with care in the future. They will be okay. Don’t add guilt to the list of other issues you’re dealing with.
You adore your dogs and will do what is best for them.

20

I’m here at the vet waiting. I choose to come here since they are more knowledgeable, yet it is distant from our place. I’m not sure if what I’m doing is right.